this one’s for you!
ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it has come to my attention that one day robots will take over the earth! i know! run! aaaahhhh! no, i don’t think thats true. but how cool would it be!? robotic hookers!? i’ll take 2!
but thats not what i’m here to write about. so….
no shit, there i was, mindin my business, drivin along in my automobile…jammin out to some random song on the radio. i thought to myself, “self,” i thought, “what is the name of this song? and i wonder who sings it!?” and no sooner had i heard myself utter that rediculously stupendous thought, the DJ came on, bloody recorded, and said i could find the names of the songs playing on www. x x x .com. xxx, not being porn, but me filling in for the radio station which shall remain nameless. really i forgot the name of it. but thats is merely symantics. and i don’t even know what symentics means. anyway, back to the point. a recorded voice, over the radio told me to go to the internet and find out the songs i was listening to, if i was so inclined to do so. now, lets take a minute to do the math. what fucking american ( i say american not as a racial slur, but because i’m white. and that means i can say what i want. its in the constitution. seriously) listens to the radio anymore!? but, more importantly, who the fuck listens to it outside their rediculous 4 hour commute to wal mart on the other side of americaville. tried to get a job closer, but the 8 wal marts in between were full up. commy bastards. commy could be spelled with an ie. i don’t know. but then it looks like a girl’s name. and i imagine communism to be more masculine. i digress. so, you’re in your car. you don’t listen to the radio anywhere else. you have a life. dinner to cook. soccer practice. drivebys. whatever. the american dream. and the mother fuckin radio stations and their fake ass robotic dj’s can’t even tell you the name of that sweet ass melody they just dropped on your ass! as if thats not pain enough, they want you to jump online and check it out! ok you twitts! lemme just put my H3 on cruise. prop my knee up to the steering wheel. break out my iphone. jump on your dumbass website to find the song i just heard and then rearend the fucking idiot in front of me who’s, what? the piece of shit is surfing the internet and driving at the same time! fuckin prick! bring back the DJ! and speakin of dj. bring back full house. i always had a thing for stephanie. wonder where she is now. i’d be a crazy twist if she were a dj on some lame ass radio station. even better, what if she was a robotic hooker?
